Bareback vs. Condom

When it comes to sex, how much are you willing to bare? The decision to bareback is not always easy, especially when the situations and individuals involved change. If you are having anal sex with a steady partner, a regular sex buddy or a number of individuals, chances are you've been faced with the decision of whether to bareback (or have anal sex without a condom) or practice safer sex. That decision can have a lasting effect on your future. Unprotected anal sex can drastically increase your chances of contracting or transmitting HIV and other STDs.

There are a number of reasons why some men bareback or engage in unprotected sex, which can include:

1. Increased Apathy Over the Transmission of HIV. Some believe the myth that, as a gay man, contracting HIV is nevitable or unavoidable or that the virus can been controlled with advanced HIV medications. HIV is still alive and well and should not be thought of as a long-term illness. Remember, there is no cure for HIV or AIDS and HIV medications do not protect you from the virus.
2. Anxiety Over Contracting HIV. There are instances of some men either deliberately transmitting the virus or willingly receiving HIV. The terms gift giver and bug chaser are sometimes used to describe these men, respectively. It's theorized that bug chasers willingly attempt to contract HIV due to an overwhelming anxiety over catching the virus. A bug chaser may believe it is just a matter of time before they are infected. This is a false belief. Many gay men live long and healthy lives without contracting HIV.
3. Both Partners Are HIV Positive. Some HIV positive men believe that since they already have the virus there is no need to have protected sex with another HIV positive man. However, HIV positive men run the risk of reinfection, which occurs when a person living with HIV gets infected a second time while having unprotected sex with another HIV infected person.
4. Some "Live for the Moment." There are always those that either adopt or already possess fearless "live for the moment" mentalities–accepting whatever consequences may result from their actions. Sure, sex without a condom may increase sensation or feel more spontaneous, but the risks of unprotected sex are far more real and dangerous. A moment of pleasure can lead to a lifetime of illness.
5. Low Self-Esteem. A person with lower self-esteem can often run the risk of following the direction of a more confident sex partner. Protect your health, even if your partner claims that he can't get erect with a condom on or urges you to have unprotected sex for just a while. Also, keep your own self-confidence in perspective. Thinking you may lose a chance to be with a great guy or that you'll ruin a sensual moment will only put you at increased risk of contracting an STD or HIV. Part of him respecting you and part of you respecting yourself is protecting your health.
6. Drug Use. Using drugs like ecstasy, viagra or crystal meth can impair judgment and has been shown to increase the chances of having unprotected sex. The moment of a drug high may seem unforgettable, but majority of men remember little, including the sex, after coming down. Don't be caught in a situation where you have to remember an encounter that may have given you an unforgettable disease.

Sure, there are benefits to having bareback anal sex, such as:

• Increased sensation in the penis.
• Greater feeling of closeness to your partner.
• Barebacking is more spontaneous. Sex seems "unplanned.

The benefits of barebacking, however, don't outweigh the potential dangers of having anal unprotected.

1. You Can Contract STDs. Barebacking can increase your chances of contracting HIV and other STDs like syphilis. Some STD's can lead to life changing conditions and eventually death. Protect yourself, even if a guy tells you he's HIV and STD negative.
2. You Can Infect Your Partner. It's never the season for giving when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases. If you do have an STD, you can play a great part in efforts to control viruses and diseases by playing safe.
3. You Put Your Life in the Hands of Another Person. And sometimes that other person is a stranger. Protect your body. A few moments of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of pain or suffering. Play safe!

So... bareback or condom?

To me it's always better to play safe than regreting it or feeling sorry for yourself later. Life is great even if that means you don't get to have bareback sex. In times lik this when we're in a stressful situation whether to do this or not, I always tell myself to look at the bigger picture and remind myself what is more important to me in life!

with much love
g-galore